Passover Fun

Since it’s still Passover for a few more days, I thought I would share some jokes that I found in the local Jewish Reporter.

The Queen calls her ministers to remind them that the time has come to appoint three new knights. They decide on a famous author, an economist, and, for science, Sol Rabinowitz. The Minister Plenipotentiary personally calls on Sol and explains how the ceremony will proceed. First, he is to kneel before Her Majesty. She will place the sword of state on his right shoulder and he is to recite the Latin words supplied by the minister. Next, the sword will be placed on his left shoulder and he is to recite the same Latin words. Then, he is to rise, bow and kiss her hand, and so be welcomed as a Knight of the Garter, “Sir Sol Rabinowitz”, for all the world to know. The next day after the Seders, he appears at the ceremony. When he kneels and the queen places the sword on his right shoulder, Sol’s mind goes blank and all he can remember to say is “mahnish tana ha laila hazeh,” which he repeats after the sword is placed on his left shoulder. Later on at the reception, the queen asks her minist, “Why is this knight different from all the other knights?”

****

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. 45 years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.” She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow! Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns triumphantly to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “The kids are coming for Passover, and they’re paying their own airfares.”

 

Happy Happy Joy Joy

*I think that phrase was from Ren and Stimpy, but I could be wrong.

Some stuff that is making me happy lately:

1. Juno. I bought it on dvd today and cannot wait to watch it.

2. Dayenu. This song just makes me happy. I listen to it obsessively; at least once a day, but usually two or three times. Plus, it’s my ringtone on my phone that never rings so I haven’t actually heard how it sounds as a ringtone. Because I love it so much and it’s Passover, I’m sharing it with everyone who reads this blog. Dayenu means “it would have been enough” in Hebrew. So, dayenu to life. It is enough right now.

3. Anything related to photography. I am dying to hit the bookstore and get some more National Geographic Field Guides. I’m reading the travel one right now and have gotten some good tips. It’s making me even more excited for Alaska this summer…I cannot wait to take pictures. AND, I found out there’s an old cemetery in one of the ports we’re going to, which thrills me no end. I’m just odd enough to get excited about photographing a cemetery.

4. This sedar plate and this sedar plate. I just discovered Gary Rosenthal through my new Lilith Magazine and I’m hooked. He’s got some gorgeous stuff that I wish I could have now. But since my mother thinks all religions are cults, I have to keep my spirituality and faith (even though she’s Jewish, too) under wraps until I move out. She thinks it’s weird that I like being Jewish and enjoy the stuff that goes along with it.

5. Being organic and vegetarian. I had coffee today and feel like crud. I guess it’s back to Passion Tea Lemonade for me, which is fine, since it’s less calories anyway.

6. 84 days until we cruise. Still not getting too excited, but soon. Don’t get me wrong. I’m excited and can’t wait to go, but 84 days is a long time. Good thing I’m working all summer. I’d go insane if I was going to be home for the summer.